Do you want my genes, damn it?!?

[3rdragon]

I hate phones.

This is WHY I hate phones. Well, not this specific issue. I've never had this specific issue before.

I've never needed a way to say, "I feel that what you just said is very ignorant and hurtful, and I would appreciate if you would give me a few minutes to recover my composure so that I can talk to you without wanting to cry."

I was always a heavy child. There are pictures of me as a three-year-old that would probably be described as "sturdy." From what I recall of my pediatrician's charts, I've been above the 80th or 90th percentile, weight-wise, my whole life. I've always been on the tall side, too, but not as much as I've been on the heavy side. I reached my full height -- I don't know, seventh grade, maybe. I have weighed what I do, give or take twenty pounds (mostly give), for at least the past ten years.

I have played field hockey and struggled with my weight. I've played lacrosse badly and struggled with my weight. I have walked over a mile to and from school and struggled with my weight. I've been a fencer and struggled with my weight. I have played sports for multiple hours a day, three or four or five days a week, and eaten pretty well, and still weighed exactly what I do now.


My research about Zambia has led me to conclude that the Zambian diet is largely starch-based. And I know, from 23 years of living in my body (plus the reasoned opinion of some medical professionals), that it is not good for me to eat mostly starches. And since the program coordinator had not yet responded to my email of a week and a half ago, I called her this afternoon.

I was not looking for her to snap her fingers and guarantee that everything would be fine. But I felt (still feel) that "It is a concern to me that there be vegetables in my diet in addition to starch" is a reasonable thing to ask for. I know that most of Zambia lives at the subsistence level, if that, but I think that it's reasonable to request that the diet I need to be healthy be at least considered while looking for my housing placement.

And if I can't be accommodated, then I will deal, and work extra-hard once I'm back in the States where I can control my food intake.

Her immediate response included, "You're looking at the effects of diet on a sedentary first-world lifestyle; I've never known a fat Zambian."

My lifestyle is pretty sedentary right now. But it hasn't always been. And weight has always been a struggle. I will also point out that I'm currently at a healthier place, weight-wise, than I've been in the past five years.

She also told me, in a kindly and gentle sort of way, that people in Zambia eat to survive and there isn't the same range of available food that there is here. I wasn't asking for an American grocery store! If there is one leafy green weed available in Zambia, I will eat the same leafy green weed every day and get very tired of it, but it will be a vegetable in my diet.

She would try to help, but she "wanted me to be more specific."

She told me that my cross-cultural experience in Spain was giving me an unrealistic view of the availability of food. (I was making this phone call partly because of the paucity of vegetables in the Spanish diet, which had been a problem for me.)

I was trying (and failing) not to cry since probably the first minute of the phone conversation, and it just went on and on and on and she kept talking and I couldn't get out of it. This was not the easiest phone call to make in the first place -- the email was hard to write; it's not something I'm all that comfortable discussing with strangers, and especially something I'm not particularly comfortable bringing attention to to ask for accommodation for. And she was implying in her nice motherly tone that I'm a spoiled, privileged kid who doesn't know how good she has it and only has trouble with her weight because of her lifestyle, and look at her quaint first-world problems.

I'm going to go knit for two hours.

Comments

[animangel.livejournal.com]

Urgh. That sounds rough. I know a little about what it's like to need to have (or not have) certain things in the diet. It can be hard in a first-world country...I can't even imagine in a third-world.

My only advice is to make certain she knows what you've told us - you are aware of the situation there, but you would like to be placed somewhere you might be able to get at least something leafy and green if possible. (Also, if it is not possible - you also understand that.)

It really doesn't seem an unreasonable request. I wonder what kind of volunteers they usually get for these kinds of programs, to have such a response?

Maybe you can do a little research on the edible plants in the region?

As a side note: if you have always had problems with your weight even when eating well and exercising, have you considered checking your thyroid? It's an incredibly common problem for women (so common, insurance can't even call it a 'pre-existing condition') which for some reason relatively few women seem to know about.

Good luck!

[3rdragon]

Thanks. I think I need to make it clear to her exactly how tall I am and how much I weigh, and that this is a health concern, not some wibbly-wobbly mental thing.

We're also having supper tonight with people who spend about half the year in Macha, which should help with "So, how varied is the diet?"

And there are hormonal/medical elements (which we had fun times figuring out first year). Maybe some day I'll tell you the story of why I personally am so unimpressed with Smith's Health Services.

[fan-de-espana.livejournal.com]

It's not unreasonable to ask for vegetables.

[3rdragon]

Yeah. I'm giving them a year of my life, in addition to doing a lot of the fund-raising. I accept that the food there will not be what I'm accustomed to at home. But I really do need some vegetables.

[phantomcranefly.livejournal.com]

Ugh. *hugs you*

[3rdragon]

Thanks.