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When I was a kid, I swore I'd never grow up. I was aware that the physical parts of growing up were fairly unavoidable, but I held firmly to the belief that if I just believed hard enough, I could avoid becoming a grownup doing boring, responsible grownup things, and just stay a kid my whole life, so long as I defined 'being a kid' exactly right. (I'm not sure how I expected to make a living. Find something I liked doing so much that doing it wasn't really working, maybe. Mind you, I would still like to do that.)

I'm reaching the inescapable conclusion that I'm lately bearing a great deal of resemblance to a grownup, though. I taught a Sunday School class for the third time this morning, and went to the congregational meeting after church (Despite being a member for four and a half years, this is the first time I've participated in that responsibility of membership).

If I look at it from one angle, I still don't want to be a grownup. But there's a lot of the things that I associated with being a grownup that I didn't want to do that I've been doing for years now. And if I look at if from another angle, I am one already.

Now if I could just find myself a real, grownup job. Or even a fake grownup job.
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I am unpacked and my room is (mostly) clean. It only took a month-plus (admittedly a month that a) included a week and a half of me doing nothing because I'd just gotten my wisdom teeth out and b) was fairly hot, off and on, so moving boxes of stuff and working in my room was unfeasible). But I have now successfully absorbed an entire* dorm room worth of stuff into my already-full-of-stuff Philadelphia-home room**.

Cut for lots of long babbling )

So I guess what I'm saying is, "High School Miriam, sometimes I feel like I don't know you at all. I'm pretty sure that I'm happier being now-me than I was being you, which I suppose is a good thing, at least from this end. I'm glad that I/we/you got back into writing. I may sometimes wonder a bit about your decisions, but you managed to pick a college where I had a marvelous four years, and I will say that you definitely had good taste in friends.

footnotes on the above cut )
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It seems to me that all the leaves fell in the course of one evening, the night before last. I was walking around campus on Monday and realizing that there was suddenly so much more sky visible than there had been. Leaves have been falling for a while now, but it suddenly seems that there are hardly any more left in the trees. If I look out across the pond, there is still color, but it's muted somehow, a portent of more bleak views to come.
This impression was also reinforced last night after fencing practice. On the way to fencing practice, I noticed that the whatever-it-is tree by Tyler had dropped all of its leaves suddenly and without warning. On the way home from fencing practice, a cold rain was falling. Luckily I had the coat that sort-of doubles as a raincoat, and my sneakers somehow didn't get to wet.

Since it seems to be time to post class schedules, here's mine:


COMPUTER SCIENCE I - CSC 111, 9-10:20 T,Th

Which I'm pleased with. It's what I was hoping for. I'm not as thrilled about it as I was with this semester's schedule; I suspect that it will be more boring, but I also have the impression that the increase in boredom will be tied to a slight decrease in challenging-ness and how much work I need to put into the class (particularly if SPN 220, taught by the same prof, is any indication).
I'm not best pleased with the free hour between 10 and 11 on MWF, since past experience has shown that I don't utilize that hour effectively when I have it, but there's a work shift from 9:55-10:55 at the CMP, and maybe I can fit that in.

Read more... )
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My mother sent me our annual christmas letter this afternoon so that I could proofread it and make sure that she wasn't saying anything totally unacceptable about me. It was rather strange, firstly because I was present for my mother talking about me as if I wasn't there, which hasn't happened since I left for college (me being present, that is, she often talks about me when I'm not actually there), secondly because Christmas letters drive it home that it is really almost Christmas, and that I am nearly done with my first semester of college.

Where did all the time go? A semester of high school took much longer than this. Even while I was watching the days and weeks fly by it seemed to be moving faster than usual. I'm told that time moves faster as one gets older because a year is a smaller faction of one's total lifespan, but surely 19 shouldn't be all that different from 18 - as opposed to time suddenly moving in large jumps as it has started doing lately. I hope that things slow down a little next semester; college costs way too much to rush through it like this.

My mother is talking about moving the furniture in the living room again. This must be some sort of penance for going to college - I though we'd moved a year's worth of furniture over Thanksgiving break. With any luck, none of this lot will have to go up and down stairs.

Viola has already left for Winter Break - that seems very strange to me. I seem to recall that she started comparatively late as well.

I've been working on my final art project lately - a papagaio kite, based on the Brazilian design. I'm quite pleased with how it's going, but wish that there were somewhere to put it in my room.

This has been a rather disjointed entry, leaping from topic to topic, but that's how I feel tonight.

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