I don't think you're alone in having more than one persona and some trouble getting from one to the other. If Smith had been more of a safe place to be devout, it might have helped. If church were more of a safe place to be angry, or different, it would be easier.

First problem: do you want to avoid freaking out the mundanes? It seems you do, or you wouldn't be self-censoring your reading. I'm not saying you should nec. bring femslash cyberpunk, but what are you afraid of if they ask about what you are reading? What will they find out about you? are you afraid if they ask you your secret identity as a (name your group)-extremist terrorist will show? I can't talk about some things without exploding. Sometimes I choose not to talka bout them, to the great relief of my friends. Sometimes it has to be said, and they cope.

If these are not people you see often, is it worth making a fuss? Because being a witness to truth doesn't mean you have to be out there ALL the time. It's too tiring for everyone. Are you choosing the hills on which you will die, and letting the others go? I don't think that's a bad option.

If it is people you see often or care about, what do you fear in their reaction? what would you hope for?

The most precious thing I took away from Div school was that Someone Needs to Ask the Taboo Question. All the time. Because then the rest of the room can mention it -- do you wish the disabled baby had just died, instead? Ever thought your husband might be gay? Since we can't have your dead parent killed, what can we do?

Chances are the Taboo Question is in at least one other person's mind, too.

And I'd like to hear more about the Mennonites vs the Metropolitan Church of Christ, too.